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This article is dedicated to the moms out there wondering how to get dads more involved in taking care of babies.
Stinky diapers and sterile wipes aren’t necessarily pleasing aromas. But what guy doesn’t like the smell of bacon. If they could somehow make scented wipes that smelled of that glorious food, perhaps we’d be more willing to perform diaper duty. Of course there could be unintended consequences…unnecessary or excessive diaper changing because we enjoy the smell so much, or an association of poopy diapers with bacon. That would make what would normally be a great breakfast rather repulsive. But the idea is on the table.
We need to somehow teach our little boy and girl babies to manage Nerf guns. They should create a jumper or seat of some sort that a baby/toddler could operate like a gun turret. The device would have some sort of button that would then fire Nerf “bullets” at mommy or daddy. It would encourage the cause and effect development, and give dads the opportunity to play army man with baby. Baby would laugh, dad would laugh…it seems so obvious!
Maybe the term gun wouldn’t be appealing to moms, so we can call it a “projectile milk dispenser.” If we could somehow teach our babies to drink from a steady stream of milk shot out of a gu…”projectiler,” imagine the possibilities. Baby could lounge in their bouncy seat across the room and dads could work on hitting their target (a.k.a. mouth) to feed baby. The only issue I see with this is the slight mess that could be made when you miss the target. But it has potential.
I haven’t created the point system yet, but let’s extend the fantasy game beyond football and basketball into the parenting world. It may have to work on the honor system until I can get some corporate sponsors, but imagine earning points for every “parenting play” you make. Diaper changing, feeding, cleaning, running errands with baby – all of these would earn points for a group of fathers. Each week you total your points against another father in the group, and top point getter wins. You’d have a regular season and playoffs. It could work. Just need to get that sponsor now…if you’re interested you can email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
My wife and I have a couple of these bath time puppets used as washcloths. They’re cute little pigs and puppies and ducks, which is all well and good. But what about GI Joe puppets? Joe could “attack” the dirt and filth, ridding the baby of the evil germs. Yes, it’s still a puppet, but as manly a puppet as there could be.
How awesome would this be? Rather than the typical travel system or umbrella stroller, what if you see a daddy pushing his baby around in a mini-Panzer? It would have all the bells and whistles of those boring strollers, but in the shell of a tank. It could even have deluxe versions that could be coupled with the baby Nerf guns idea above so they could launch Nerf darts from it, or at the very least some cool sound effects. I don’t know about you, but I would always be taking the baby out on errands if I could wheel around my baby-tank.
So many nursery rhymes and stories, so few athletes. Rather than old mothers and spiders and eggs on walls, what about a story of Tiny Tim Tebow or nursery rhymes about basketball and soccer? I can see dads being a little more inclined to read to their kids when they can relate to the story. So Tim Tebow, if you’re reading this, send me an email and I’m sure we can get this book idea picked up by a publisher.
Like any of these ideas and want to get them pitched to a company, just let me know. And if years from now I see the new Graco Panzer at Babies R Us, I will track down whoever stole my idea and my baby and I will launch Nerf bullets at you.